I woke up this morning early afternoon and did my usual online rituals - check comics, check blog sites, check Facebook. Much to my dismay that it was someone’s Facebook status that clued me in on this unfortunate development: Billy Mays, notable pusher of products such as Kaboom, Orange Glo, and SIMONIZ Instant Shine, has passed away at home in his sleep at the tender age of 50 according to several news sources [foxnews.com] [cnn.com] as well as the Twitter account of his son, Billy Mays III.

Now, I never followed his Discovery Channel series, Pitchmen, nor did I ever order anything from his television commercials. I also heard he was kind of a jerk to some folks, but that’s all rumor as far as I know. Regardless, as someone who also makes a living by standing up in front of a disinterested audience with the aim of converting them into loyal “customers” (public school teacher), I’ve got a lot of respect for anyone with the charisma and the cajones to survive in that line of work. Pitchmen and salespersons make a living based on how successfully they can move their product - at least I get tenure after a couple years.

But why post about Billy Mays when other, more notable celebrities have also written their last checks this week? For one, I feel like the recent death of pop icon Michael Jackson, also at age 50, is going to overshadow much in the coming weeks. Case in point, I had no idea that Farrah Fawcett lost her battle with cancer, and that Ed McMahon also kicked the bucket, all within the past week.

This brings me to my second point: The Celebrity Death Curse of Threes. The superstition is an extention of the old belief that good/bad things always happen in triplets, only in this case it is applied to celebrity deaths. Last year, comedian George Carlin was followed in death by Bernie Mac and Isaac Hayes merely a month and a half later. The Wall Street Journal has a really fascinating post about this Rule of Three in which author Rebecca Dana explores other close-knit celebrity departures:

Buddy Holly, Ritchie Valens, and the “Big Bopper,” all died together in a plane crash in 1959. Janis Joplin, Jimi Hendrix and Jim Morrison all died in close succession in late-1970, early-1971. In 2003, Johnny Cash, John Ritter, and Warren Zevon all died within the same week.

Bringing it back to Billy - I feel that, given the high profile passings of recent days and the fulfillment of the Rule of Three with Jackson, Fawcett, and McMahon, Mr. Mays might not get the attention that he and his fabulous beard deserve. Unless we’re seeing the start of a brand new rule of three involving Vince Shlomi and Anthony Sullivan, in which case the universe of “as seen on TV” gadgets may never fully recover.

So here’s to you, Mighty Man of OxiClean. May your whites be the whitest they have ever been.

RIP Billy Mays 1958-2009.
(Photo Creative Commons 2.0 by Sharese Ann Frederick)